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| *Ostroff, Fair and Company>>>Administrative and Office Support |
How do you professionally deal with an unprofessional manager? |
My office manager can be really great some days... and really nasty other days. When she is in one of those moods she will say things that make stop & wonder if she did actually say what you thought she did. On numerous occassions, she has said I was over paid & should be willing to do anything because of it. She also has a way of backing (even grown men) into a corner. She has also said I'm very stubborn & thickheaded. I tend to think of myself (and others seem to too) as pretty even tempered & easy going. At times she will target me in situations claiming it's "my fault" & when I can prove that in this case it wasn't actually me- she really gets angry saying its not about blaming people. (By the way, I'm okay w/ admitting if I did something wrong). The office feels like a prison cell & if there is any talking she gets pretty mad about it... unless she is the one initiating the chatter. Does anyone have any good professional advice? I actually like my job so I'd prefer not to quit. My assessment would be that you have entered an abusive superior/subordinate relationship. The tactics that your manager is using is fairly common. She will make you feel like the king/queen of the world one moment and quickly turn around and make you feel like a worthless scum. I can tell you that this tactic is also used by the police/military during interrogation. Their motive is to mentally break you down and build you back up in the shape that they like. To put it simply, your manager is a control freak, who wants to dictate every little detail and expects everyone else to blindly follow. Of course, when things go wrong, they blame the messenger. My instinctive advice would be "get out of abusive relationships". But, if you really really like your job and want to stay, your going to have to work really really hard to change a few things about yourself and around the office. When I say change yourself, I don't mean you the person, but the way you deal with your manager. Here are just few things you can try.... If you feel that your boss is being verbally abusive, you should confront her on the spot. But be mature about it, so that you don't embarrass her too much. Most times, these verbally abusive people don't realize what they're saying in the heat of the moment and most regret having said it later on when things cool down. So, just tell her that you don't appreciate her generalizing or oversimplifying my character based on this one task/project/assignment...it was an honest mistake or misunderstanding. Don't get into one on one arguments with your manager. Instead, try to steer the dialog into a discussion of the subject. Focus on the project or the task in hand, and leave the personality behind. If the manager tries to corner you with their fast paced jargon's or intimidating body gesture, don't hesitate to back up and ask her to clarify. You don't have to second guess you ability to listen, but you have the right to expect others to effectively communicate their point, even if it means that they have to use elementary language and vocabulary. The most talented managers out their are essentially great communicators, they know how to engage others at all levels. Let me recommend a book for you, its called "Getting to Yes" by Roger Fisher, Bruce M. Patton, and William L. Ury. The book is about negotiation, but its not about who wins and who loses, but focuses on how to professionally handle conflicts. After reading your description again, its very hard for me to associate good work environment and your statement about "prison cell". Perhaps you should ask yourself what you like about your job and if same opportunity exist somewhere else. I don't know what stage of professional career your in, but a prolonged exposure to bad working environment will hurt you no matter where and who you work with in the future. good luck Shoot him. Well do you work for a clinic or a hospital because if you work for a hospital you can report her to human resources confidently and they can investigate the issue also, if the doctors here the way she speaks to you or the office maybe they can suggest that your manager is moved to a diffrent division or let go. Sounds to me she is downgrading you and that is not professional at all. Also sounds like she is verbably abusing you also...Hang in there stick up for yourself and document eveything she says to you and vise versa because she could be in a really bad mood and turn on you and you might loose your job Five years of working for a manager like that until we all got fed up with her and she got fired. Geez...is her name Cathy by any chance? For four years, I worked with someone like that. Her excuse? Menopause. And she refused to take anything for the myriad of symptoms she suffered. I finally got out late last year and had to eventually quit answering my phone when she called me to help out. She was poison. I, too, would have loved my job if it weren't for her and she was the primary reason why I did end up leaving. I feel for you, I honestly do...unfortunately, your best option is to find a new job because she will likely not change. Well, I would advise you to lightly hint to your boss on one of her good days that, at times, she can be unprofessional and even unfair. Don't tell her straight-up just yet, but do it when you fell it's right.But, especially do NOT tell her the reasons why you think she acts that way. It would just sound like you're pointing out her flaws. I'm sure that to some extent,she knows it. And if more people start to tell her, she'll have more of an incentive to check over her emotions at those bad days. I hope this helps you.I really think this is the nice and calm way to do it. Afterall, I don't want you risking your job. Good Luck It is hard to tell what type of work you are doing -- it is too bad that your supervisor is located so closely to you during the work day that you can't even speak without feeling you'll be criticized. I wonder who owns the business -- or who your boss' boss is? Are they someone that you can talk to about the unfairness? If so, then I suggest that you have a confidential conversation about your work environment. In some business environments there are laws that govern whether or not we have to be subjected to harassment in the workplace. Especially, laws that protect us from being called names in a public forum, such as at work in front coworkers. I think it is time that your supervisor checks herself -- before she wrecks herself! She needs to be brought down a notch by the proprietor of the establishment or if it is another kind of corporation structure, her supervisor. You can't be the only employee who feels as you do. This kind of thing brings down worker morale and hinders productivity -- any manager who sees the bottom line threatened will take your complaints seriously. Good luck. |
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