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Should I take my supervisors rudeness personally? |
My boss, well supervisor, is a woman...that being said she is extremely moody. One minute she is really nice and playful, joking around with me and the next shes acting like she she has got a stick in her ***, trying to point out everything I am doing wrong. I try not to take it personally, but sometimes it seems like shes just doing it to hurt me specifically. I feel like she keeps interesting projects from me because she is trying to be spiteful. My reviews are always great from her, but I am wondering if I should just suck it up and not take it so personally, or should I look for another job with a woman thats not so moody. (oh yeah, not to mention, shes 43, single and overwieght ie. miserable) Whether you decide to stay or go is obviously your decision. However, I think your assumption that her rudeness is directed to, or because of, you is presumptuous. The fact that she is a "boss" means she has a lot of responsibilities that you are not aware of. And yes, perhaps she is 43, single and overweight adds to the mix. Whether professionally or personally, do not assume that just because someone is rude it is because of you. To be truly happy anywhere, you cannot assume to know what others think. Also, why not just ask her if there's something you're not doing or can do better? She may not even be aware of how her attitude is affecting you and your work. wow i was just rude with my boss and posted a question. I hate when people talkt o me like crap. And i Have found other jobs when people did that. Find another job, tell her you would like to be respected if not u are gone. and maybe talk to her more on a personal level and become friends with her. ask her if something is bother ing her today If you recieve good reviews it sounds like she doesn't have it in for you. I would start by trying to talk to her. Be very specific about what you don't like. Give her examples. Just be respectful about it. After that it's in her court and you will see if she wants to make a change. If she doesn't change, I'd look for a new job. I also have a lady supervisor single, over thin, almost 40. sometime she talking with me rudeness too. (My real boss also don't talking rudeness with me). Actually my real boss is a good, polite man. Just my supervisor, may be she is a woman more talking , love haggle over every ounce and narrowness. I prefer like to work with guy more than woman... Man easily to communicate and open . Chay - EVERYONE gets moody sometime. Don't take it personally. Please know, how YOU hear what someone says is determined by YOUR interpretations, and your interpretations flow from your past. This is very important to know, especially if you find that you overreact to what others say or habitually get your feelings hurt. . . . Remember, what someone said is not necessarily what you heard, and what you heard is not necessarily what they meant. Ask yourself, "What in my own history is causing me to feel this way?" The next time you notice that you are reacting to what someone else does or says, pause and ask yourself, "What in my own history is causing me to feel this way?" It may take a few tries to get the hang of this but just try it and see what your mind comes up with. Here's an example: You walk into an elevator and the person who is already in there doesn't ask you what floor you want. You think that's rude and get a little irritated. So you ask yourself, "What in my own experience is causing me to feel this way?" You might remember that you were brought up to be courteous to others and that your parents scolded you if you weren't. You might remember that your current love interest has been inattentive lately, and this is just one more example of how nobody cares about your needs. Or you might recall that you think no one has any manners any more, and believe the whole world is becoming uncivil. Whatever your personal reasons for getting irritated with your elevator companion, the next step is to acknowledge they are your reasons and probably have little or no relationship with what's true for that person. He or she may be preoccupied, nervous, or shy鈥攐r have some other, completely mysterious reason for not asking you what you want. Start Small and Get Big Insights It's great to begin with these small, seemingly trivial events and build the muscle to use this same exercise with bigger upsets in your life. The idea is to create the astonishingly liberating awareness that your reactions to the world around you rarely have much to do with what's actually going on. Listening to others and observing your reactions is one of the most accelerated growth and healing processes you can experience. Specifically paying attention to how you interpret other people's words and actions can reveal to you your own mind: your "filters," if you will. Because all of us see others through the lens of our own experience, it can be fascinating to pay attention to how that lens is colored. Straight From The Heart by Layne and Paul Cutright wow...I thought u were talking about MY boss cuz I麓m on the SAME situation....and IDK what to do.... |
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