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| *Ostroff, Fair and Company>>>Law & Legal |
I have an interview at Sears tommorow for Loss Prevention.; Can someone help me edit please. Heres what I got? |
I am looking for an entry-level position in the field of loss prevention. I have been wanting to explore a position in loss prevention for quite some time now and finally decided to have a change of careers and pursue my dreams. My long term goal is to make a career out of this and in a couple of years become a law enforce officer. I have some experience in loss prevention from when I worked at the bank. I was always on the look out for fraudulent bills, checks and suspicious transactions. While it is some experience I understand that it is nothing like an actual loss prevention job and that may concern some employers. My only response to them is that what I don鈥檛 have in experience I make up for in desire and ambitions. I am aware that this job is very dangerous at times and I am intimidated. I am ready to step up to the plate and prove that I am worthy of this position. I know it鈥檚 a risk to take a chance on someone with no experience, but I鈥檓 here to prove that it鈥檚 a risk worth tak It sounds okay, but there are some punctuation errors. Can you copy to a word document and check? Also I think it should be "become a law enforceMENT officer". It's pretty good. I spruced it up with better grammar and took out the negative statements like "dangerous times and being intimidated." Also, never begin a paragraph with "I". For quite some time now, I have realized that I would like to work in retail in loss prevention. The position you have advertised sounds like the perfect entry-level job in the field of loss prevention. Now is the time for me to change careers and pursue my dreams. I have some experience in loss prevention from when I worked at the bank. I was always alert for fraudulent bills, checks and suspicious transactions. While it is minimal experience in this field, I would welcome any training or guidance in learning the actual loss prevention in your company. I have the desire and ambition to pursue this new career choice and I realize there may be times when it is challenging and I am ready prove that I am worthy of this position. Since I don't have any experience in loss prevention and am willing to learn, you can train me and I will have no "bad habits" from previous loss prevention jobs. I will learn how you want the job handled exactly. With my experience, knowledge, ability, and desire to succeed, you will be happy you chose me for the position.make me a great acquisition to any company all I need is one opportunity to prove it. Thank you for your consideration. |
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