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| *Ostroff, Fair and Company>>>Other - Careers & Employment |
How to control emotions as i burst in to tears? |
as i am a working women when my work is not recognized & boss use to ignore me & work even if iam right icould not speak because there are tears in my eyes either i will have toshut my mouth or otherwise tears will come out It's not normal or healthy to cry all the time at work. You sound very depressed and it sounds like it's time to find another job unless you can facilitate some changes at your workplace. If you don't want to quit, there are some things you can do. First of all, dettach yourself emotionally from the issues at hand. Health care professionals learn to do this; otherwise they couldn't function. If your work is critized, focus on the work problem without assuming it's a personal attack against you. The boss just wants the job done right, so listen to what he's saying and make the necessary changes. Secondly, don't personalize your boss' behavior. If he doesn't notice you or your work, it could be he's got other things on his mind at the moment. It may not occur to him that you need a lot of pats on the back. He may simply expect you to do a good job and doesn't realize that he's not giving you the positive feedback that you need. He's probably not a bad boss; he's just not an intuitive one. Another thing you can do is ask to meet with him and tell him what's on your mind. It's OK to cry in the meeting if you must, but try to keep some control over yourself and what you say. Focus on what's bothering you and use "I" a lot instead of "you". Say things like,"I need feedback on my work performance when I do a good job, not just when I don't." or "It bothers me when I feel ignored because I think you don't recognize or appreciate the work I do." Don't accuse with statements like, "You don't appreciate me!" or "You ignore me!" The purpose of the meeting is to open up communications, not to attack or accuse. It's also very important to give your boss positive feedback when he does something you appreciate. When he compliments your work to someone else, for example, let him know you appreciate his comments. Or, when he makes a positive comment about your work, give him a smile and say thanks. When you see him doing his job well, tell him so! He's needs a pat on the back too. A manager's job can be very stressful and he probably gets plenty of criticism from his boss, so it might help him be a better boss if he thought someone appreciated the job he does. Communication and positive feedback is a two-way street. That's interesting. This happens ALL THE TIME to me and I'm never moved to tears. I just view the boss as the enemy. The only time I'm moved to tears is when I'm scolded for BS. It's best to learn how to tune out things that aren't important. If that is what you job is like maybe it's time to look for another job. Either that or learn that most bosses are awful and will treat you poorly guaranted |
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