|
|
| *Ostroff, Fair and Company>>>Other - Careers & Employment |
Letter or Poem Idea for Leaving a Job? |
I am transfering at work to another center and would like to thank my coworkers with a letter or poem. I am also doing those little survival kits for everone but need help with a letter or poem thanking everyone and saying goodbye to post in the office. Please Help How about this famous poem. You can print it on good quality poster paper and write your personal message on it. [IF] If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream--and not make dreams your master, If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much, If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son! --Rudyard Kipling Peace and every blessing! Fare thee well my friends and cohorts, Fare thee well, one and all. This is not goodbye as much as, "See ya!" And to say, "I had a ball!" I learned so much from each of you; And I'm grateful that I know you. It's much easier to write my thanks, Than it is for me to show you. God bless you all! A friend of mine sent this. Names changed, of course, to protect the writer: Best Resignation Letter Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Foobar Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! Dear Mr. Pointihare, As a graduate of a major institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have intellects higher than the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the performance of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP address is for the tenth time. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts: 1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own. 2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration. 3. When you borrowed the department's digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in multiple safe places pending your authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow (try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes). One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never fool with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time! Wishing you a grand and glorious day, Sallie Forth -- Joe Zeff The Guy With the Sideburns When you have a Leatherman, everything looks Leathermanipulable. |
| Tags |
| Credit Corporations Other - Careers & Employment Technology Marketing & Sales Law & Legal Health Care Government & Non-Profit |
Finance Categories--Copyright/IP Policy--Contact Webmaster |